Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize