apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize