I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
