I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
