Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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