Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
COCAINE IS GR8
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
