That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
