i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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