Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
