I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
