You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Quick, to the slutcave!
she looked like the before picture.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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