tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My penis needs a shock collar
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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