In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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