i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
