u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
