he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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