a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
