you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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