Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize