soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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