It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
