every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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