i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
