So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
