I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
