that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i will never coherently bang her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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