did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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