wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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