I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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