We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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