They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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