Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You are a genius and a whore.
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