I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize