You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
