i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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