Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
