I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
