Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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