i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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