we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn victory sex feels great
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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