I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
