Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
