She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
