Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
