from now on my penis is your penis
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
