"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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