yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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