Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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