my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
