did you get engaged???
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
