He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
