i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize