You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
