we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
