I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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