Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize