pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I will pee on everything he values.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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