hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
