this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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