Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
