I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
