are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
