I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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