Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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